Rough Days and Kindness (on a Budget)

Rough Days and Kindness on a Budget

Yesterday was one of those days. You know the ones; your mom was supposed to tell you about those kind of days. Fortunately for me, mine told me they might come, and she also told me they might come three or four in a row. 

Yesterday's issues started a few days ago. Over the weekend, we were involved in an accident in our van with our whole family inside. It wasn't my husband's fault; a little old lady pulled right out in front of us, and my husband avoided smashing into the driver's side door of her old lady car but took out the front end of our van with a couple of mailboxes. Essentially, he saved her life and trashed our car. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the insurance tango has begun. So, the last several days have been filled with the fun of contacting insurance companies and getting police reports and getting a rental car. My mind has been tempted to become overwhelmed this week because of life on a budget.

So I called my mom who lives a billion miles away and shared my frustrations with her. They went a little something like this.

Though I usually stay at home to care for our kids, my one-day-per-week job got bumped up a bit because of all the nasty winter weather we have had, so this week, I have to work extra. Wow, these sheets on my bed need replaced. And tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. (She asked me a month ago if I would bring cupcakes to her class at school, and having no clue what kind of week this would turn into, I agreed.) How am I going to get those done, and get the kids back and forth to school and go to work?  And our kids need new car seats since theirs were involved in an accident over the weekend. When am I going to go buy those? I wonder how much money that is going to cost! I sure hope insurance covers those!  And our son needs ANOTHER haircut. And I have a mountain of dirty laundry to wash. And a mountain of clean laundry to put away. And our dishes need washing. And what should I make for dinner? Oh great, the cat just knocked over another glass of water all over the important insurance paperwork from the accident. I hate that cat! And don't forget that I need to get a snack ready for 21 children at preschool. Which reminds me, I need to go get groceries, but not until I can refill the "Grocery" envelope that has become completely emptied. I think payday is Friday. And I need to get the bills ready to send out. And the kids have homework that needs my attention. And my husband has meetings after work. And there's another dirty diaper that needs attention. And I think I forgot to write that one doctor appointment on the calendar. I sure hope they give me one of those reminder calls. And I am exhausted.

The more I talked about my problems, the more they (and our budget) seemed to overwhelm me and get on my nerves. But as ever, mom wanted to help take away some of the burden, and I assured her that I can handle it on my own; that life can just be like this sometimes. I can do it because I am strong, I reminded her. She agreed, but asked me if I would accept her help. How on earth could she help me from more than a thousand miles away? She couldn't come put away laundry! Not knowing how on earth she planned to help from such a distance, I agreed. 

We hung up; I put on my big-girl panties, and I loaded the dishwasher to get rid of my mound of dishes while I thought about how much it might cost to just go and buy the cupcakes for my daughter's 27 fellow kindergartners. At least $15, I figured. "Shame on you," I thought, "You can't go and blow the budget like that when you already bought a cake mix and icing for less than $3 for this very purpose!"

I whipped up the cupcakes and remembered that I just saved our family $12. Talk about a quick confidence boost! I knew I had to head to work soon, but I checked the clock and figured I might just have enough time to whip up dinner and save us the difference of about $20 for take out. I boiled up some pasta shells, whipped up a quick filling and put it all together into pans just as my fabulous sitter was walking in to take over for me to head to work. I tallied in my mind $32 saved.  I rushed getting ready, ran out the door, put in my time at work, and headed back home. 

When I walked through the door from work, my sitter was finishing up washing the last of my dishes (bless her heart), and I popped the pan of stuffed shells into the oven, feeling like I was starting to get everything under control. A few minutes later, our home was full and bustling with all of children home from school and my husband searching the kitchen for a snack (does anyone else's husband search for snacks WHEN DINNER IS ALMOST READY? Good grief!) when my doorbell rang. 

Standing on my doorstep were three young ladies that I recognized immediately to be the teen daughters of a mutual friend of my mom and me. She had sent them to help attack my lists of things to do and to play with our children while I took care of household issues. I don't know exactly how she arranged it or paid them, but it was awesome! She sent me three extra sets of hands to help accomplish tasks.

While they got busy dusting, vacuuming, and doing various laundry tasks, I was a little uncomfortable. We moms are conditioned to believe that we can and SHOULD be able to handle all that life throws at us independently. I started feeling a little ashamed that I can't do it all. My house is often cluttered, and I regularly overspend on our "Dining Out" portion of the budget because I can't always make time to get a meal ready. As a result of me being uncomfortable, I started trying to work faster than these three young women to kind of prove myself. But then I remembered that my mom sent them to help me, not for me to try to race them in a housework Olympic event! I got a gentle reminder that we are called to bear one another's burdens as Galatians 6:2 tells us, and this was how my mom wanted to help me in my burden of motherhood. I think if she could have stopped over to help me herself, she would have, but since she wasn't able to, she did the next best thing and sent other hands to help.

Accepting others' help is hard. But last night, I went to bed with so many tasks completed because someone cared for me. I didn't have to bear the burden of being strong and independent yesterday.  

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28